Sunday, October 24, 2010

Death and Sorrow

One of the many topics I am obliged to take is religion; (they don’t just preach to us) they’ve tried to make the class interesting by talking to us about “major issues”, like cults and dealing with death and whatever else they think relevant to teenagers.

Well the topic we’ve studied is death and sorrow (hence title) and I find it so frustrating because I disagree with everything that comes out of the teacher’s mouth. She says that there are five stages that one goes through: Denial, Anger, Confusion, Depression and finally acceptance. I don’t think that everyone goes through all those stages in any particular order. I know I’ve dealt with grieving and death in my own way, and I find it absurd to categorize the emotions one goes through like that.

Take for example when someone dies in an accident, suddenly and unexpectedly, with a terrible arbitrariness that seems unjust and cruel beyond description. There seem to be very few consolations for those left behind. In such cases there is no preparation, unlike someone who is ill, and their fate is inevitable. Too much is left unfinished and unsaid. Almost like soldiers going to war, the possibility of their never returning gives significance to the farewells on the day they leave.

I think there are consolations though, once the person is dead, they would not want for those close to them to linger in sorrow. Think of those close to you, imagine them mourning when you die, then ask yourself how much sorrow you wish them to bare. I think a rational person would think that the amount be nor too much…nor too long. You would want them to come to terms with the loss and thereafter remember the good times. You would also want them to continue their life, which I think is the natural sentiment of the human condition (If that makes sense).

So, I think we need to find a balance, think of how much you’d want people to mourn when you die, and then try to do the same for someone who has died.

Another consolation might be sharing grief, mourning with people, ‘grief wounds more deeply in solitude’ Even if sharing sorrow doesn’t lessen it, after an amount of time it becomes a help in the process of recovery.

For someone in the midst of sorrow, hope seems so far away. But ordinary human nature is full of surprisingly deep courage, like the kind that makes it possible for us to believe that makes hope and a return to happiness possible. Sorrow is said to be one of the most profound teachers of wisdom.

I guess the point of writing this is so say that we shouldn’t categorise death and sorrow and grieving. Everyone deals with it in their own way. I believe that we never quite get over the sorrow caused by losing those most loved; we only learn to live with it, and to live despite it…which (and there is no paradox here) makes living a richer thing. That is sorrows gift…though we never covert it.

Sorry for another depressing blog, and I’m going to give a HUGE thanks to my only follower :) you made my day yesterday. Also I think this blog is going to turn into just more of my random thought patterns and what crosses my mind from day-to-day.

Saturday, October 23, 2010


At school, every homeroom talk is about leadership, and how everyone needs to be a ‘leader’. I can feel my blood temperature rise as I listen to the utter nonsense that comes out of the lecturer’s mouth. So what if I’m not a leader? What if I don’t want to be? What if my only goal in school is to finish and get the hell out of there as fast as I can? What do you call people like me…Followers? I disagree; in school I wouldn’t call myself a follower. I don’t wear designer brands or wear makeup and to be completely honest, I think the best way to describe me at school is that I am a rock – no one really talks to me and I don’t talk to anyone else-. I’m not picked on though…anymore which is a good thing. I don’t understand what’s so good about a leader. Have you seen politicians? They are leaders and I wouldn’t aspire to any of them. What about Stalin and Hitler? I don’t think being a leader is exactly a desirable trait. I know at school they want us to all aspire to being school captains and representing the school and all that jazz, but the fact that people like me who don’t care have to go to all these extra lectures I think is a little unfair. Both Aristotle and Cicero believed that no one could be a good leader who had not first learned to obey. This phrase bests describes political parties, where to climb the greasy pole of ambition, one must loyally observe the party line. If I were to apply that logic to my school; we are just going to have a long chain of people who are EXACTLY the same. Why don’t school dare to push the moral and social boundaries of today? I’m not looking forward to my senior year. – In a sense I am, I will be closer to leaving – but at the same time it’s going to be like any other year, except I’ll have added responsibilities like standing on gate duty writing down people’s names who don’t have hats…oh what fun

I don’t want this blog to sound like I’m just complaining…which I am so I’ll try to brighten it up with a happier note. Harry Potter’s coming out soon :) ……actually that’s probably a sad note as it’s the last movie…ever.

Well this has been a sad and – less productive then I would have liked kind of post.

I don’t think anyone is actually reading my posts but the biggest thanks goes to you if you are.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

First Blog

I’ve always liked the idea of starting a blog. I don’t care if no one else reads this but me. It’s just going to be a hobby that I am hoping to pursue… unlike most of my failed journal entries that generally fizzle into to nothing. I think I should start by telling you viewers out there a little about myself. As you know, my name is Jess, I’m a grade 11 student and I hate my high-school with a passion. I think when you leave school you either really enjoyed your time there, or you hated every minute of it. I don’t think there’s an in-between. I love writing; however I’ve never been any good at getting my over-thought, complex ideas clearly down on paper. Every written English mark I have received back from a teacher basically reads “you have the ideas of an A standard…. But you have the expression of a pre-schooler.” I tend to agree with that statement, but I hope that keeping a blog as another form of a diary entry will have some contribution to improving my writing… hopefully. I love to read, I think I’ll make a blog sometime about all my favourite books. I’ve played soccer for 10 years, and I’m stopping for grade 12, I’m Australian, I can skateboard and my ultimate passion of all time is playing guitar, I’ve been playing for 5 years and I teach beginners. I work part time in retail – and I have some very interesting stories to go with that – I don’t think myself as a loner in school… I have a small group of friends, but in saying that, I really don’t talk to anyone else. I’m not picked on anymore for being different, which is a good thing. I used to get bullied for being the tomboy and I had short hair… so I must be Gay. All those little comments I received in middle school I still carry with me today. But right now, I’m like a rock, no one associates with me and I don’t associate with anyone else. I keep to myself most of the time. I don’t fully understand why I’m starting this blog, maybe I need to confide in something… maybe I need someone to talk to… maybe just to improve my writing… maybe it’s to come home from school and escape to a world where I’m happier. Actually I don’t like that line, it makes me sound like some depressed, attention seeker, which is not the way I want to be perceived. I have to go now. I’ll try to write in this blog once a week, I really hope I stick to it.

Best wishes and a big thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read about my life.